Re-evaluation

I am unhappy with the decisions I have been making lately. I have not been true to myself. I am doing things because they are easy, not because they are right and not because I want to. I know I need to change this, but I am not sure how to start. I am currently in the process of deciding whether or not to transfer schools. I am almost through my Sophomore year and considering attending another school to graduate. I am terrified of making the wrong decision. I am unhappy where I am now, but there is a part of me that feels that it is not my location or the people around me, it is me not doing what I want to do, and doing what I feel is expected by all the wrong people. Usually, when I am unhappy with things in my life, I run. I moved here to get away from what was making me unhappy back home. I need to make changes. I just don't know how to start, and I am terrified... I try to remember that every day is a miracle, and I am blessed with at least one miracle a day, but I am not respecting this and not enjoying it. I am determined to find and be true to myself. <3

Oops, sorry!

Well, I have been slacking majorly on this. But here I am again. I am going to try to get back on track. With school and travelling and work this seems to be farthest from my mind. Don't get me wrong though, I have noticed plenty of miracles every day. For starters, I have found so many lucky pennies in the past few weeks! I will list some random miracles that I remember have happened. Silly or not, they make me or someone else happy. :-)

-I was going to order a new bikini online, but then stopped right before I was finished because I thought, "hmm I don't know if I want to spend that money right now." I got home the next day to see an Order Confirmation e-mail from Victoria's Secret! I had actually ordered the bikini on accident! So now, I have a brand new bikini that makes me feel great! I love it.

-I went to Minneapolis a couple weekends ago and got to spend some great quality time with my cousins. I auditioned for a school and did pretty well. And on 4 flights in three days, I am still alive!

-In my search for a new pair of shoes to match my audition dress, a friend and I went to TJ Maxx. I found this wonderful pair of sparkly silver and gold peeptoe pumps. Absolutely perfect! However, they were a size 8. I am an 8 1/2. I don't remember the last time I wore an 8. I tried them on anyways, and guess what?! They fit perfectly! Hello, miracle!

These are just a few of the little miracles that have happened to me over the last few weeks. I will continue to provide more as time goes by. Hopefully the posts will be more frequent. May your day be filled with miracles! :-)

Day Six - Everydad Miracles

My miracle for day six was making it back to St. Louis safely in my old clunker! I was pretty worried that she wouldn't make it, but my baby is still going! I am hoping she continues to be strong. Also, on the way back I looked out the window and noticed STARS!! I rarely get to see more than a few stars because I live so close to the city, so I was so excited. I exited the highway and pulled to the side of a road in the pitch black midde of nowhere and looked at the stars. I only stayed for a few minutes, but I was very excited to see a sky full of stars. It was wonderful. :)

Day Five - Everyday Miracles

Today, I spent the day downtown Chicago in the Lincoln Park area near DePaul University. I ate Potbelly's, played in the snow, and put my eye behind the camera for the first time in a long time. It felt amazing. Everything today could be considered a miracle. I laughed and played in the snow with a great friend and just felt wonderful all day. However, today my real miracle was much smaller. This one is quite reoccurring in my life. See, I have this thing about pennies. I refer to any penny I find facing heads-up as a "lucky penny." Now, I do not necessarily believe in luck. I consider all good fortune to be a blessing from God, and that is exactly what the pennies are. When I see a penny heads-up on the ground or elsewhere, it is a message from God saying "Smile. I'm right here." So, today when I found a lucky penny on the seat of my car, I could not have been happier. I am so grateful for all of the joys in my life. I am also grateful for all of the sorrows because they have all helped me grow stronger. Today was amazing. I hope tomorrow is just as wonderful as I return to St. Louis!

Dat Four - Everyday Miracles

Today I spent time visiting a teacher who changed my life, and spending time with two of my closest friends who have also changed my life. Getting to see all three of these wonderful ladies in one day was a miracle in itself. With my old friend Heather, we looked at old photos of us from "grammar" school, tried on dresses, and talked and laughed. We wondered why no one else calls it "grammar school." Most other people call it grade school or elementary school. Anyways.... The time I spent with these women, laughing and catching up was quite the miracle. So much so that I have decided to spend one more day here in Chicago before I leave. And I think I'll take a little trip downtown tomorrow with another great friend. I am so blessed to have these amazing people in my life. I cannot wait to see what tomorrow brings. :)

Day Three - Everyday Miracles

I spent yesterday with my two-and-a-half-year-old niece. We spent the whole day together shopping at WalMart, watching movies, playing with toys and puzzles and having tickle fights. My miracle yesterday was getting to spend all day with that beautiful little girl without her picking a fight with me once. She was cooperative and giggly and fun. Hearing her laugh just warmed my heart, and I am so happy that I got to spend that time with her before I go back to Missouri. It was a wonderful day. :)

Day Two - Everyday Miracles

Yesterday I got to see an old friend and hang out at an old favorite place. A place that is comforting and natural to us both. It was a great day. However, the real tiny miracle that occured yesterday happened to be in my friend's room playing with her bunny. I was trying to make sure the bunny named "Peanut" did not jump off the bed and in the meantime Peanut decided to give my hand many kisses. It tickled so much that I could not stop giggling. This lasted for a few minutes. I think it is just absolutely wonderful that kisses from a little bunny made me laugh so much. Simple, but sweet. Looking forward to the next. :)